People hate it when you are good.

Ever get the feeling that when something is going well or when you have achieved success that utter catastrophe is around the corner?

Perhaps it’s because we are battered round the head with ‘what goes up must come down’ theology as though it’s gravity that will inevitably humble us with a reminder that our achievement is not as good as we think.

Alas, I’m here to tell you. It’s not gravity or God. It’s them and quite possibly, you. The insatiable desire some people have to infect you with their own self-doubt and the expectation that jealousy is a bad, unmentionable thing is just plain silly.

Sometimes, in life people are good, are better than you or are just plain luckier but hitting them with a metaphorical, or very real, stick won’t improve your chances of winning life.

Isn’t it better to just be honest? An honest voice of “OMG I am so jealous I need to go and be sick so I can return and be thrilled for you” will probably make everyone’s life a whole lot better.

Now admittedly, this is a lesson to be learnt. There have been times where I have NOT been thrilled or told said ‘life winner’ I wanted to be sick/poke them in the eye…but I like to think I’m growing.

The reason this has spun my head of late is that I’m realising it’s actually a very female trait to contribute to the “people hate you when you are good” situation.

Guilty. I will admit that personally, I thought it was impolite to be chuffed with yourself.

If you put down your own achievements then quickly call your mum to declare “Mother. I’m mint” then you have gone some way in being both humble and singing your own praises, right?

Wrong.

Unless you speak up no one will actually know how good you really are. There ARE exceptions to this rule. The one nice boss everyone is afforded in their lifetime might actually drag out your colours and fly them for you or you might be the lucky person that is SO GOOD that they can float through life bashfully dismissing any compliment that comes their way.

For the rest of us, we have to try and learn that being good is great and when your rummaging nervously in your ‘I am awesome’ bag, toes curled and bum clenched, trying to awkwardly drag out your colours post flying and some envious douche bag pulls your pants down and laughs…just turn to them and say:

“I know you are so jealous you want to be sick. I feel like that too sometimes. Now go vomit so you can return and give me the congratulatory hug you REALLY want to give.”

Problem solved.

Originally posted on: http://www.caitlinmoran.co.uk/index.php/people-hate-it-when-you-are-good/